My Mom is a FOB.

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Definition of F.O.B. (pronounced fäb/f-aw-b) -- An acronym for the term "Fresh Off the Boat" (not the band, Fall Out Boy); generally used when immigrants come to America with little knowledge of the culture, language and slang, fashion, etc.. This term is used mostly on First Generation Asians (Asians born in their native country), and more commonly, Asian Parents.

Mama Le is a FOB.
Possibly the cutest FOB you'd ever meet--as others have told me. She's that stereotypical Asian you all have heard about, and if you don't believe me, let me give you some points:
  • Mama Le owns a nail salon.
  • Makes the best, jamazin' fried rice and eggrolls.
  • Enjoys singing karaoke with her friends.
  • She expects me to have good grades.
  • Mama Le is cheap; she loves bargaining with people.
  • She got my car $8,000 less than its original price.
  • Speaking of cars, she's the worst driver I've ever encountered.
  • I'm so sorry if you see a little, Asian lady in a Black Lexus.
  • She's most likely crashing into your lane.
  • I'm sorry.
Lastly, My Biggest Point:
Mama Le Speaks Engrish.

Although she's a little, fobulous cutie, I bet it will take you at least one to two minutes to comprehend what she's trying to tell you. Rarely does she ever speak English to me, but she tries very hard to speak English with my friends, her customers, workers, and such. I mean, she's not terrible and she has definitely improved, but she's still very shaky. This is. . . 
 
The Small Collection of Mama Le's Ridiculous Engrish

1. Driving to Monett
Mama Le: Leeenndah, how-oo you seh, "police?"
Linda: What?
Mama Le: Police. . . Po-leeeeeesh. Police. Son Mong Tay!
Linda: Nail Polish?
Mama Le: Yeah! Police! I tell Bahbuhwah (Barbara, a customer), "Please choo da police," n she get skeh-wud, n say, "What!"

 2. The Party Animal
John (my Brother-in-Law) to Customer: Jenny is a party animal!
Mama Le: Dit you jus caw me a ani-mole?!
John: Yes. . . ?
Mama Le: You dink I am da duh-rr-tee (dirty) and crr-reh-zee (crazy), huh?!
John: No, of course not! No, it's not a bad thing. . .
- Later that afternoon -
Customer: Jenny, you are such a party animal!
Mama Le: . . .

3. thetextsavvymama
Mama Le: wereru
Linda: At McDonald's.
Mama Le: whenugohome
Linda: 11
Mama Le: okhepmewhenhome

 4. The Space Bar
Mama Le: HOW-OO YOU DO DA DA--
Linda: Separate the words?
Mama Le: YEAH!

 Some tips to help you talk like Mama Le:
  • Replace 'S's with 'Sh's.
  • "TH"s at the beginning of words with "D"s.
  • "TH"s at the end of words with "F"s.
  • "Is" and "are" with "be."
  • "R" is actually "R-rr-uh"
  • "Cool" is "coooo"
  • "Sexy" is "sek-shii"
  • "Party" is "pah-tee"
Although she can be embarrassing and fobby,
Mama Le is my best friend and I love her so very much.